Aging can actually be beautiful. I know that can be hard to take because we are usually bombarded with societal messaging that aging is bad and something we need to fight. The multi-billion dollar beauty and fitness industry attempts to shame us for being anything but perfect. We have been brainwashed to believe one of two things about aging. 1. It’s an inevitable time in our lives that makes us tired, weak, and undesirable. Or 2. We must fight with all our might and money to stay young or live a sad and lonely life of rejection.
Here’s another perspective…you don’t have to wage a war against yourself and the passage of time. The truth is that it’s a battle you’ll never win. Your best weapon is to simply be yourself and allow the world to see who you truly are. Of course, you can partake in any aspect of beauty maintenance that feels right for you. It doesn’t matter whether it’s cosmetic surgery or coating your face with Vaseline before bed. As long as you are doing it out of love for yourself, rather than fear of rejection. You have to know that you and your changing body are enough, with or without the enhancements, and these changes are normal and not to be ashamed of them.
Here’s a list of some of the “normal” changes your body may make or has already experienced.
Your body shape may change. This is normal. As a woman, your body goes through many changes, especially if you have birthed a child or two. Another factor that can affect your shape is hormonal changes. I’ll address that in more detail as we go forward. Do I even need to mention diet and exercise? Those are lifelong contributors to our body shape.
The skin under your arms may sag. I can certainly testify to that. When I first started noticing it a few years ago, I considered not wearing sleeveless clothes anymore. Can you believe I was mentally preparing myself to suffer through the heat with sleeves on rather than expose the “ugly” thing that was happening to my arms? I had to remind myself that this is normal and not a reflection of my health, well-being, or beauty. If you are experiencing droopy arms, it is simply a demonstration of the loss of collagen in our bodies and a decrease in overall muscle mass.
Your boobs might droop or sag. You can get them lifted with plastic surgery if that’s important to you. There are some great push-up bras out there now, also. But your boobs are okay regardless. Just be sure you’re taking care of your breast health by seeing your doctor and following their advice with regards to exams and mammograms.
You may lose muscle definition. It has to do with hormones and skin elasticity and the changes in our adipose and connective tissue. It’s important to remember that at this stage in your life unless you are strength training, it’s natural to not look as “cut” as you get older. I started strength training several months ago, and it seems like it is taking forever to see any results because my body is no longer as responsive to exercise as it was 40 years ago. There are great health-related reasons to continue building and maintaining muscle tone, including reducing the risk of bone mass loss and cardiovascular benefits, so don’t give up exercise because your body doesn’t respond like it used to.
You will get wrinkles. The only way to avoid getting wrinkles is to die. There are lots of things you can spend money on to minimize or hide your wrinkles. Most importantly, wear sunscreen to protect your skin from sun damage. Just know that wrinkles are natural and you are still beautiful. No matter what you do, try to love your skin and thank it for protecting you all these years.
Your libido may be affected. Those darn hormones! As we age, hormone production declines, often leaving us with low libido, vaginal dryness, thinning vaginal walls, hot flashes, night sweats, to name a few. There is help to turn it all around. I was unable to take traditional hormone replacement therapy because of the adverse effects. A couple of friends recommended bio-identical hormones, which turned out to be literally a life-saver for me. It’s wonderful to no longer struggle with those symptoms, but most importantly, bio-identical hormone replacement is heart protective. It turns out that had I been on them earlier, it could have prevented my MI in 2011. That’s a story for another time.
It may be harder to maintain a lower BMI. Again, hormones and metabolism play a significant role pertaining to our weight. Generally speaking, it’s can be harder to lose weight as you age. Just know that you don’t have to lose weight to be wonderful and worthy of love and happiness. Bigger bodies are not worse than smaller bodies. Who you are inside that body is what really counts. On the other hand, if your weight is impacting your health, there are many tools available to assist you. The most important tool is your mind. Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Take care of yourself.
This list is far from complete but touches on some of the common changes to our bodies as we age. The purpose of highlighting them is to emphasize that they are normal changes that most of us will experience. They come with this gift of longevity that we are living.
My hope is that I’m able to help you nurture your commitment to self-acceptance so that you can truly love and accept your aging body. And maybe if we can spread this message by our example, we can change the world and stop being so ashamed of growing older.
Love & Light to you,
Renee