I’m sure you have heard the saying, “Beauty is only skin deep.” It refers to the fact that someone can be gorgeous on the outside, but have such an obnoxious personality, that they no longer look good. In other words, what is beyond the beautiful skin is an unpleasant personality, attitude, or heart that actually changes the way we view them.
At this point in our lives, wrinkles, age spots, and other unwelcomed things show up on our skin, announcing that we are getting older. I think most of us want to hold onto the vision we have of ourselves from our past. You know, the one when you thought you were really cute. But the reality is that as time marches on so does our flawless skin. This is where a new perspective can make a huge difference in how you think and feel about yourself.
This quote by Leonard Cohen says it all for me – “Ring the bells that can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”
So now even with all the best cosmetic fixes available, there will still be cracks in your skin, somewhere. Even if no one sees them but you, they are there. This is how our bodies were designed. At 60, our skin is going to look different than it did at 20 or 30. What if we embraced these inevitable changes with respect, honor, and love? Similarly to the way we embrace and love our parents as they age. We don’t love them any less as their skin wrinkles, in fact in most cases, we love them more. Of course, you will still do all you can to keep your skin and body healthy. You will just no longer allow the changes you see happening to your body to negatively affect how you feel about yourself.
Sometimes we don’t understand that our energy, our heart, and our spirit speaks louder than anything else can. Who you are is always leaking through your pores, no matter what you are wearing or how great your makeup is. And now that you have those cracks in your armor, your Light cannot be contained, unless you’re trying to hide behind the cracks because you are loving yourself conditionally.
Conditional self-love is when you don’t feel good about yourself unless: you are looking your best; you have enough money; you have a desired partner; you receive enough compliments; and the list can go on. When you feel “less than,” you think others feel the same about you. It is your choice to be ruled by opinion, or by who you are within. Are you so influenced by the perceived thoughts of others and your desire to be loved, that you are chasing love away?
When how you look becomes more important than who you are inside, life becomes more difficult to manage. In that scenario, you will never be happy with the way you look, because you will never permanently look the way you want. On the other hand, if you are always exploring where you are today, inside and out, and celebrating that, you will be able to enjoy the magic of life and the adventures it brings more fully.
I want to be clear that I am not condemning the desire to look good physically or taking whatever steps you desire to compliment who you are inside. I enjoy getting dressed up and looking good. I color my hair, not because I fear I won’t be accepted with gray hair. I do it because I like the way it looks on me. I exercise because I enjoy it and it helps me to stay healthy, not because I fear I won’t be accepted if I gain weight. And by the way, I have gained weight.
In conclusion, your beauty goes much deeper than your skin. Let it shine forth. Your physical appearance is as important as you want it to be, as long as it supports you in unconditionally loving yourself and doesn’t prevent you from loving yourself.
Here is a little tip that can nurture your self-love: Daily write down 3 things that you are proud of about yourself. For example:
I am proud of myself for moving beyond my fear and making that call.
I am proud of myself for being a caring mother
I am proud of myself for completing what I started today.
Sending you Love & Light,