A key component to Awesome Aging is self-love. If asked, if you love yourself, my guess is that your answer would be, “yes, of course, I do.” However, you may be surprised at your answers to the following questions. If you want to get the most value from this exercise, I invite you to write your answers on a piece of paper by indicating “yes” or “no”.
Do you compare yourself to other people?
Are you concerned about people thinking negatively about what you say, do, and/or wear?
Do you spend time with people you no longer resonate with?
Do you put off what you want to do to give time to others?
Do you wait to see what others decide before making a decision?
Do you beat yourself up for your mistakes?
Do you criticize yourself for your shortcomings?
This is by no means a comprehensive list, but it’s a way to begin evaluating where you stand on the Self-Love spectrum. If you have more than two “yes’s” let this be a wake-up call to put more effort into loving yourself unconditionally. Wake-up calls are opportunities to enhance your life.
What is Self-Love? Self-love means having a healthy regard for your own well-being and happiness. It means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Let’s be clear here, self-love is not a form of narcissism or just having a big ego. When you love yourself unconditionally you accept your weaknesses and shortcomings as that unique part of you that deserves compassion and love, despite your imperfections. Need I mention that includes the deepening wrinkles, forgetfulness, extra weight, and anything else that plagues you about aging? When you have self-love, you treat yourself kindly. You give yourself what your body, mind, and soul need for this life journey. Self-love is the practice of nourishing yourself and it takes work and commitment.
Don’t let that scare you though because once you truly start loving yourself unconditionally, you will enjoy your life so much more! Your relationships will flourish or die. Those that really love you will love you even more as they get to know and trust who you really are. Some relationships will die because they were more attached to you meeting their conditions than allowing your light to shine. You may have to accept that some folks that live in darkness are very uncomfortable in the Light. Once you choose to live in the Light, you become your best friend – your ride or die.
Now if you’re asking how to love yourself more, here are a few.
7 Ways to Love Yourself More
Invest in yourself by taking classes, getting massages, purchase a gym membership, hiking, traveling.
Invest in playtime. Play is just as important as work. Schedule it in.
Limit the junk food you ingest physically and mentally. The more you love yourself, the harder it is to continue to do things that no longer serve you.
Forgive yourself and others. Think of forgiveness as the key that lets the Light in. Reframe those who hurt you as your teachers. Grab the lesson and keep on stepping forward. Don’t allow them to hold you hostage in the dark.
Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling and express it. It’s easy to mask or ignore our feelings to keep the peace or to be accepted.
Create a Self-Recognition List. Every day make a list of at least 3 things that answer the question, “What am I recognizing myself for today?” It doesn’t matter how big or small. This is a great way to change your thinking from “I’m always behind,” or “I’ll never catch up” to “I’m movin’ and groovin.'”
Move your body. You don’t have to run a marathon or climb Mt. Everest. Any consistent movement will engage your mind/body connection and keep you healthier. The resources available to engage your physical body are endless. Here are a couple of things you may not be aware of that are free or super cheap: Halle Berry is associated with a free app called “FitOn.” I use it and there is lots of variety in the types of workouts. The trainers I’ve used have been great. DailyOm.com offers really good courses that are very reasonable. I’m currently doing “4 Minute Metabolism Booster” by Nadine Sardini. It’s unbelievable what she can pack into 4 minutes.
Don’t ever forget that loving yourself is the first and biggest step to happiness, freedom, and a life well-lived.
Sending you Love & Light,
Renee Featherstone