Yes, we are in the Holiday Season now. The traffic has tripled. The lines are long. Sale signs are everywhere. Consequently, it’s very easy to get caught up in the frenzy all around you. I have certainly been there and done that. In the past, I have set an intention of keeping my spending to a designated list and limit, and before I knew it, the list had grown and my bank account balance had shrunk.
So often this holiday spirit of giving turns into a stressful situation. It can begin with a happy thought of buying a nice gift for someone you care about and quickly evolve into, “OMG, what should I get them?” to “this is not a good time.” “I don’t have time for shopping.” “I don’t have money for shopping.” And the list goes on.
How about giving them the most valuable gift you have to give…yourself, your love, attention, time. Everyone who really cares about you would love to receive more of that from you. Now if you’re thinking, they are going to give me something, so I have to give them something, consider what you are giving yourself – stress.
How about gifting yourself with peace, respect, honor, and love? That’s the highest form of giving when you can love yourself enough to put yourself first. If you’re still concerned about what others think, first remember that “what others think of you is none of your business.” What really matters is what you think of yourself. No, this is not a selfish thought, in fact, it is quite generous because the more you take care of yourself, the better equipped you are to take care of others.
You are a gift to the universe! Act like it. Take care of yourself. Love yourself unconditionally the way you love your child or your pet. They make mistakes, piss you off, embarrass you, disappoint you. Much like you do yourself. Take this holiday season to take care of and love yourself. Here are 3 simple ways to do that:
- Just Say No. being the loving, caring, generous person that you are, it’s very easy to agree to do things you don’t want to do for others. Stop a minute and ask yourself “why am I agreeing to do this?” If your answer is “because I love doing this and I have wanted to do it for a while,” that’s a green light activity. Do it and have a ball! If your answer is “I don’t want to disappoint them,” “I know I should,” or “I have to,” that’s a red light activity. Shut it down. They will live (unless they are on their death bed). And if you share with them your honest reason for declining, they will love and respect you even more for having the courage to be honest. So, remember, “no” is a good thing when you are honoring yourself.
- Say Yes to Yourself. Now that you’ve learned how and when to say no, it’s time to say yes to yourself. How often do you shortchange yourself? There is something you really want to do…watch Netflix, visit a friend or family member, get a facial, have a weekend getaway, but you are so busy trying to handle everything, you have yourself believing that you don’t have time. You must make time for yourself. You are worth it. There is always more to get done. If you’re anything like me, you have a list of things to do that you may be checking off and adding new items to daily. Why not add your personal care to the list? It will rejuvenate you and make your work time more productive. Stop saying no to yourself. You’ve earned a “Yes!”
- Feel What You Feel and Share It. Have you ever noticed how much time you spend trying not to feel what you feel? The reason we usually make that choice is because we are concerned about what others will think about us if they know what we are truly feeling. This kind of thing often happens when you fear you have something to lose if you are real. You don’t want to disappoint them the way they disappointed you, or you don’t want to lose what you have with them, so you tell them it’s okay. You may be feeling hurt, disappointment, even anger. But rather than speaking your mind, you betray yourself to keep them where you think you have them. What you may not understand is that it is your responsibility to yourself to teach people how you want to be treated. If they disappoint you and you don’t acknowledge that, you are teaching them that it’s ok to treat you in that way. Telling folks what you’re feeling about their actions can be done in a loving way. Simply share what hurt and what you would prefer. Those that care about you will take note and attempt to honor your desires.
If you try this doing the holidays, don’t be surprised if you start honoring yourself all year. That can be a good thing.
Happy Holidays to you and yours!
Renee